When was the last time you screamed? | Perspectives | Day 23 / 100
A walk down the pseudo-science lane.
Is it better for our health to keep frustrations bottled up, or should we release them through a primal scream?
Lately, I’ve been taking on a series of new-ish habits to manage emotions better. For me this includes reading books on negotiations, learning about personality behaviors, meditating, and running.
The goals and benefits are clear — better internal compass, improved relationships, saving a delicate situation.
Some common threads among most emotional management practices are acceptance and non-identification, which is just a nicer way of saying the events don’t define you (and deal with it). This makes total sense in the way it’s taught: learn different ways to process your feelings and respond more maturely than you could’ve otherwise. They also often teach you to internalize what you can truly control, and take these practices on for what you cannot control.
Despite all this, I can't shake the feeling that what we take in should eventually be let out.
We all carry baggages around us from childhood, teenage years, early adulthood and beyond. And beyond that, sometimes people are just mean and the world isn’t always nice. The New York subway experience is a prime example of how sometimes nasty stuff just happens to you.
Of course, it’s entirely possible when I fully master all mindfulness and meditation has to offer, I’d be able to deal with any uncomfortable situations. It’s probably mostly right since I’ve never seen an angry monk before.
But what about before that day? How do you bridge the gap while you are trying to raise your tolerance for bullsh*t?
(TV Show Spoiler Incoming)
I was watching the Daredevil show the other day, and one of the episodes had a scene where Agent Poindexter, an FBI agent turned villain, got so frustrated he wasn’t able to complete his evil mission. Taking the advice of his boss Kingpin, he walked into a mini-van, closed the door, and screamed at the top of his lungs.
Man is cuckoo, I thought at the time.
A bit later I realized there were actually a few different times I’ve seen similar concepts in more “practical” senses.
One of the more popular methods to fall asleep faster is The Military Sleep Method. Part of the drill is to relax your body one area at a time, and some variations recommend tensing your muscles up as hard as you can before relaxing them. I’ve been using this method fairly frequently, and while I still take a while to fall asleep, I’m definitely seeing some improvements.
Tony Robbins, one of the world’s most famous motivation speakers, has made popular a framework to create archetypes for yourself as a practice for self-actualization. One of the common archetypes is the Warrior. According to the few online sessions I listened to, Tony pushes the crowd to literally act out the state physically in a way you think best-fit — most people make a Spartan-like imitation. The concept he promotes here is to put yourself in a state to accomplish the appropriate task at hand, and if you’re a warrior, chances are you don’t back down from a challenge.
What I see common among these 3 practices is the concept of unleashing your inner power. The goals are different — coping, sleeping, and conquering your day, but the idea remains the same.
So I gave it a shot, because why the hell not.
A couple days ago I was pretty down from still feeling burnt out, didn’t get to finish all the to-do’s on my new shiny productivity dashboard, and had a poor call with my dad. I had planned to take a walk to the waterfront, but after I left my apartment through the side door, I realized I was alone on the alley that led to the main street.
And I did it, I just screamed like a maniac. Thankfully nobody noticed.
A weight was lifted off my chest momentarily. It wasn’t the silver bullet to my stress and anxiety, but I had a great rest of the walk and felt more relaxed the evening after.
Releasing the bottled-up negativity through a primal roar for some reason actually seems to work.
Not to worry, I don’t intend on making this a daily habit and scream down fifth avenue for the whole city to watch out of context. What this did inform me though is that there could be room for mediation tactics while I continue to raise the bar on my own internal emotional management.
Until the day I can calmly react to acute stress in a monk-like manner, I’ll be aiming to complement my calmer practices with some power-unleashing activities:
Fast intense training, likely to be interval sprints for me.
Some kind of combat sport practice; I’ll be starting with boxing but might check out the likes of jiu-jitsu or pick up karate again.
Maybe a scream or roar here and there when nobody’s watching.
P.S. I actually did do a couple more half-suppressed screams after that first attempt which also did the trick. Maybe it’s a product of working in front of a computer screen instead of people, but only time will tell.
Thanks for reading!
JZ, May 7, 2024